Reader's Guide Question #3

Would you characterize yourself as a Bozo on the Bus? Why do you think we hide our vulnerabilities and self-doubts from one another? Why do we try to keep the secret of our true selves hidden, when in reality, that secret is what Rumi calls the Open Secret? And how does hiding out from one another hinder us from turning a difficult time into a Phoenix Process?

Response:

For some, it's hard to admit our vulnerabilities and self-doubts. We assume people are going to judge us or treat us differently. We all have a dark and a light. Dark sides of ourselves are the ones that we care not to share with others. It takes a lot of courage to stand up in the face of rejection. You may have to face truths that you, in fact, don't want to face at all. It's easier to live in denial. It's easier to live up to the expectations of others and make others happy before we make ourselves happy. We naturally gravitate to what's easy and this is why, I believe, we keep our true selves hidden. We don't want to be vulnerable and risk rejection or face the truth. It's safer and easier when we don't take risks.

But if you don't take risks, things will never change. You'll remain stuck wherever you are in your life that is making you unhappy. There is always an opportunity to grow and learn from a bad situation. I find that speaking with others about the struggles I am dealing with, and vice-versa, just helps me out in the end. I get inspiration and encouragement from my friends and therapist and hopefully I give it back as well. It's the little push I need to keep plowing forward.

In the end, we're all in this together. People are here to help one another, and I'm finding out more and more this is true.