Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My "Crochetions"

I thought I'd finally get around to posting pictures of the crochet projects I made as gifts this past Christmas. I made dish towels and homemade soap for most of the gift baskets. I also made two baby bibs for Stephanie's son Braydon. Unfortunately, however, I don't have any pictures of the biggest project I worked on which was a crocheted purse for Darcy. Maybe I can have her pose with it next time I see her!

Anyway, just realize I am kind of an amateur at this, but I am gradually getting better and better. I've got some new projects on the horizon so stayed posted for that. Enjoy!

Scarf I made Garrett.

Gift basket for my mom.

Gift Basket for Jackie.

Gift basket for Emma.

Gift basket for Stephanie.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Creating Boundaries

Without borders a once clean river becomes a swamp.
The mind without parameters becomes insanity.
A life without discipline is a life wasted.

As part of the emotional work I am doing this year, I am working on establishing boundaries for myself. I realize now more than ever how important boundaries are. This is one of my biggest if not the biggest issue I've had to deal with in my life. I have lost friends, boyfriends, and pieces of my self-worth all because of my inability to create boundaries for myself. As my therapist said, boundaries exist and are created to establish physical and emotional safety. I desire that kind of security now more than anything.

Understanding our limitations is what gives us freedom.
Freedom from temptations.
Freedom from having to bow to other people's wishes.
Freedom from dead ends.

Borders for when I go out drinking:
If I'm not going out with a girlfriend, drive myself to and from the bar.
Limit myself to 2 drinks.
Leave before the bar closes and leave alone.
Don't smoke cigarettes just because I'm drinking.

Borders for dating:
Do not accept last minute dates (i.e. he regularly calls to plan dates on the night of). Dates must be planned out beforehand.
He has to do most of the asking and planning for at least the first few dates.
He has to offer to pay on the first few dates (but that doesn't always mean I accept).
Don't sleep with him until we are exclusive, committed, possibly love each other and with a strong potential for the long term.
Never go back to my place or his place on the first few dates.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My New Years Resolutions

It never occurred to me that I should be making New Years Resolutions. In fact, I have always thought that they were kind of silly. Broken promises that people make only to end up being disappointed in the end. Why bother to put myself through that? Plus, I've always felt that it was silly to start a diet or create weight loss goals for the New Year. It seems like your health should be something you are committed to all the time, not just because it's a new year.

I found it interesting when people asked me what my New Years Resolution is. I told them I didn't have one, but in fact that wasn't true at all. I have many aspirations for the New Year, but I just never bothered to explore those deeply or write them down on paper so I could keep track of them. The more I think about it, maybe it's not silly. Maybe seeing my goals down on paper is just what I need in order to get the job done. My New Years Resolutions are simply the goals that I wish to accomplish and there is nothing wrong with that.

So, here goes. In no particular order.

My 2009 New Years Resolutions:

1. Learn to Love Myself. I want to feel happy and confident in my own skin. I want turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

Put into action: Stop the negative self-talk. Find things I like about myself as opposed to things I dislike about myself. Stop being so critical. Have compassion for myself.

2. Take Care of Myself. I need to put my health as a priority. That means feeding myself healthy meals and exercising my body. Health is the main goal, but also I want to look and feel good. That means getting myself to a weight that I feel happy with.

Put into action: Exercise at least 4 times a week, but preferably 5. Include a mix of cardio, strength training, and pilates. I would like to lose at least 10 pounds which would bring me down to 125 lbs.

3. Invest Towards My Future. I have been talking a lot about going back into school in the fall for my Masters degree, however one of my biggest goals for the New Year is to leave Bloomington. I am putting it in writing here and now, when my lease goes up in July whether or not I get into grad school, I will be leaving Bloomington. But ultimately my goal is to go to grad school and leave Bloomington so hopefully I can kill two birds with one stone :)

Put into action: I've taken some of the first steps into applying, but I still need to write my personal statement and apply to at least one other school in case my first choice falls through. Also I need to look into financial aid and if necessary study for the GRE.

4. Create Boundaries to Protect Myself. I need to create boundaries for myself in the dating world. Boundaries exist to create physical and emotional safety, which is something I have been lacking. Now that I have many goals, I might take a break from the dating world for the meanwhile, but I still need to practice setting boundaries for when the time comes.

Put into action: Write down a list of my rules (which will be featured in a soon-to-come blog). Think about why I chose the rules I did and what those rules are protecting me from. Practice, practice, practice those rules. Create rules that align with my values and always remember to value myself first before anyone.

5. Be More Useful With My Time. I would like to waste less time on things that are unimportant (i.e. Facebook, Myspace, text messaging, television, worrying/obsessing, yadda yadda). I waste so much time at work and I'd like to put forth more effort into getting my work done.

Put into action: Be more productive at work and in my personal time. Prioritize the things I need/want to get done first. Stop being so lazy mentally and physically. Time is all we have, so I better make mine useful! Creating to-do lists would be a good start.

6. Make Time For Myself. Although I realize I have lots of goals I'd like to accomplish this year and lots of activities to take up my time, I'd like to remember to schedule in time for myself. All things are good in moderation. I get stressed out very easily so this is a must.

Put into action: Schedule in time to veg out and relax. Create time to tend to my hobbies such as crocheting, reading, and blogging.