Thursday, October 30, 2008
You've come to this juncture in your life merely because something in you kept saying you deserve to be happy.
You were born to add value,
to add something to this world,
to simply be the best that you can be.
Every single thing you've been through,
Every single moment that you've come through,
Were all to prepare you for this moment right now.
Now you get that you are the creator of your destiny.
Imagine what you can do from this day forward with what you now know.
What will you do with the moment?
How will you seize the moment?
No one else can dance your dance,
No one else can sing your song,
No one else can write your story.
Who you are, what you do, begins right now...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Waiting to explode
Or maybe I will implode
I feel myself getting stronger
I am no longer the thing I feared
The girl that was weak
Afraid to speak
I have made it this far
With only myself to rely on
It would have been so easy to give up
Live more lies
Instead I chose to cry
You didn't deserve me
You deserted me
I deserted you
Neither cared enough
To see this through
It was rough
and still is
I fell in love with the pieces of you
That reminded me of him
Or him of you
Your passion for my passion
Only yours was stronger
More brilliant, more explosive
I wanted to embody that passion in you
Share with you
Get high off you
But when fakeness turns to fashion
And the evening's high wears off
The morning reveals the lies
Washes off the dirt and make-up
Of what we were
Of what was
The truth is that destiny will not
Let me explode
Delay would have been easier
And I am no longer wasteful
So I quit waiting
And starting moving on
Leaving behind the remnants
Of that old atom bomb
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
By Rev. Ronald McFadden
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).
Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.
Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Conventional resolutions often fail to do us much good because they were never really designed for us in the first place. The best resolutions are based on thoughtful, heartfelt consideration of what would make us happy. But all too often, we assign ourselves instead to accomplishments or self-improvement tasks approved by other people. We end up working hard (at least for a little while) on things our friends, bosses, partners, parents or our culture at large say are right for us. As well intended as such resolutions might be, they lack the natural appeal and profound meaning that self-generated resolutions can hold. So our first step in the resolutions process is to take a compassionate, nonjudgmental look at ourselves and ask what we really value. Where are we truly energized to focus our energy in the coming months and beyond?
Consider the difference between the following two scenarios: In the first, someone strides up to you and blurts out, “What’s wrong with you, anyway?” Depending on your personal style, you might feel angry, confused, upset, scared, defensive or some combination of these. Now imagine that another person approaches you and asks in a kind voice, “How are you doing?” When you respond, this person listens, nods and shows interest. How do you feel now? Clearly, the second interaction would be far more pleasant, and you would be more willing to share your true thoughts and feelings with this person than with the first.
It is this attitude of open-minded acceptance that you will need to maintain — no matter what you unearth during the “discovery” phase of your resolutions work. Your goal is simply to become keenly aware of those sometimes-faint internal voices that speak your truth.
For example, there is little purpose in following someone else’s advice (directly stated or implied) that you climb the corporate ladder “to provide for your family” if your inner wisdom tells you that what your family needs is more time (than money) spent together. So begin by listening only to your own inner voices, to what resonates as true in your heart and mind, to what your soul tells you is meaningful and right.
Hearing these voices clearly amidst all the external voices we’ve listened to throughout our lives can be difficult, but it’s a little like dealing with a bunch of socks that have been jumbled together in a washer: Initially, those socks are so snarled and intertwined that they’re impossible to sort out. But as you separate them and lay them out, it becomes easier to see what goes with what.
Begin by removing all distractions, sitting down, closing your eyes and listening to your quiet inner voice. At first, you may hear only murmurs, or you may hear an enthusiastic, overeager chorus, each voice trying to out-shout the others. Invite the voices to settle down, and visualize yourself separating them and laying them out neatly in front of you. What have they been telling you that you haven’t yet heard? As you consider the following questions, remember to keep your focus on awareness and observation rather than criticism and judgment.
- How do I define myself? Does this match how others see me?
- What parts of me (good or bad) am I ignoring or denying?
- What values are most important to me?
- Are those values and parts of my life being honored by the way I am currently living?Am I “stuck” somehow? Where, and why?
- What internal or external obstacles stand in my way?
More from Cheri Huber
There Is Nothing Wrong with You (Keep It Simple Books, 2001)
How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (Hay House, 2000)
Saturday, October 4, 2008
But I know that feeling because in my life, I've only made a few great friends. The ones I can say I truly love and care for.
Everytime a great friend leaves its like a stake in the heart.
Feelings of inadequacy follow. Questions like, "Why am I still here?"
Guess it's all part of growing up.
I just don't understand why all the best ones have to go.